And the Rest Was History: A Series of (Mostly) Unconnected Drabbles
by NaughtyG
Summary: "That might be the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my entire life," Harry deadpanned. Mostly unconnected oneshots.
1. The Rest Was History

"That might be the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my entire life," Harry deadpanned. "In fact I've changed my mind, it is the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my entire life."

Ron and Hermione sat across from him, matching looks of amusement coupled with an underlying degree of anxiety displayed for all to see.

Historically, the dumb ideas came from Harry himself before they were eventually refined by a member of the Order or Hermione.

If the subject at hand wasn't as delicate for Harry as it was, he would accuse the pair for taking the piss out of him. It certainly wasn't the first time Ron and Hermione came to him with insane proposals, all determined to 'break him out of his shell' as it were, but this one was easily the most outlandish yet. The war left scars on everyone, and Harry somehow always managed to draw the shortest straw when it came time to administer the seemingly daily grievances. It wasn't that he pushed people away, he just didn't want to bring anyone in.

"But if it worked, Harry, if it truly gave you a second chance, gave us a second chance, wouldn't you want to say you tried?" Hermione said, using that 'I've already made up your mind' tone that Harry never understand how she performed so perfectly.

Harry opened his mouth to reply that, yes, he would want to say he tried, but in this situation it was so obviously not applicable it would be like saying he wished he tried to eat a critical mass of chocolate frogs to see once and for all if you really do become what you eat. But the more he thought about it, the harder it was for him to shake the thought from his mind. 'What if', he thought, 'what if indeed'.

Seeing Harry's hesitation, Ron jumped at the chance to put the nail in the proverbial conversation coffin. "And it's not like you'd be alone, mate. If we manage to bollocks the entire thing up, we'll be just as dead as you are," he exclaimed with an enthusiasm that didn't quite seem to agree with the words he said.

Hermione seemed to think so as well. "You're not helping, Ronald!" she bit out through clenched teeth. "No one is going to die. In case you haven't noticed, people dying is what we're trying to prevent, not actively pursue."

Harry wasn't entirely convinced with the whole 'no one will be dying' part of the plan, but he choose to remain silent. He had complete confidence in Hermione's abilities of course, but never before had she, or any of them to tell the truth, attempted something as substantial as what was proposed.

"If we do this," Harry began, "there's no way back, right? Whatever happens, good or bad, we're stuck with it."

There was a pregnant pause while Hermione tried to figure out the exact way to say that yes, there is no going back, and that yes, it could very possibly turn out even worse than it did the first time around, but in the end she couldn't find the words.

It seemed to be enough to convince Harry regardless.

"Fine," he began, "I'll come along on your absolutely bloody insane plan to travel back in time to stop the war from even happening."

And the rest is, as they say, history.


	2. The Rest Was History 2

"There is no possible way you expect me to drink that." Harry stood with his arms folded over his chest, his gaze fixed upon the bubbling concoction that sat in a nondescript goblet before him.

"I agreed to tag along, and to tag along _only_. I definitely don't recall agreeing to subject myself to this torture," Harry ranted passionately.

Hermione couldn't help but let out a snort of derision. "Oh _please_ , Harry," she began, "I'm positive you've had worse things in your mouth. Don't act like I'm your mother forcing you to eat your greens before dessert."

"You don't have a _clue_ what's been in my mouth, Hermione. Besides, you're hardly one to talk. Your parents are bloody dentists! They probably had you eating sterilized soy beans or bleached out carrots instead of dessert," Harry volleyed back.

Rolling her eyes at his childishness, Hermione grabbed the goblet and shoved it towards Harry. "If you don't want to do this the easy way, I have no problems with going the hard way, Harry."

Harry narrowed his eyes at her, "you're bluffing," he said skeptically, "you wouldn't dare, not with the children in the house."

The edge of Hermione's mouth twitched, "just try me, Potter," she taunted.

Harry seemed to think it over for a moment. On one hand he could call her bluff. There really was _no_ chance that Hermione would force him to drink it, not after the last time she tried to force feed him. On the other hand, the liquid didn't really look _that_ bad. It more than likely smells worse than it tastes, probably.

Begrudgingly, Harry's arm shot out for the goblet, his fingers wrapping around the stem and bringing it towards his parted lips before downing it in a single swallow. "You know I hate you, right?"

A genuine smile appeared on Hermione's face, "and I wouldn't have it any other way, Harry."

* * *

This will probably be the last 'continuation' of the first chapter for a couple days. The goal of this 'story' is for a new drabble every day, 200 words minimum. Sometimes it will be a continuation, even if only loosely, but most of the time it will be a completely different subject. I love reading your reviews, they always put a smile on my face.


	3. Record Store Mishaps

_It has to be perfect,_ thought Lily. _I just hope I'll find something that screams 'Remus'._

It was December 22nd, three days before Christmas. Lily had once again put off her shopping until the last minute because let's face it, finding the perfect gift for someone is hard work.

Which is why she was currently stepping into a muggle record store. Remus was the only halfblood she was good friends with and one of the only people who actually understood and even used muggle technology. The two of them had bonded over their shared love of muggle music, and Lily was determined to get him the best record ever.

Unfortunately, Lily was forced to drag along her boyfriend James Potter, and his best mate, Sirius Black. Lily and James has just moved into a new house in Godric's Hollow after living in a shabby old apartment with the thinnest walls known to humankind since graduating Hogwarts. The move was so recent in fact, that they hadn't even unpacked their belongings yet. Hence the inclusion of James and Sirius. She trusted the two of them to stick out of trouble like she trusted the Prewtt twins to watch the first years. Which is to say, not at all. If left alone unsupervised, the likelihood of the pair blowing themselves, or worse the _house_ up was too high to risk. Thus, she had company tonight.

The door gave a musical chime as she walked through, the clerk behind the counter giving her a friendly wave as she strode in with James and Sirius nipping at her heels.

"Behave you two," she commanded before leaning in to whisper. "This is a muggle shop, and the last thing I need right now is you two gits running off and causing mayhem. Got it?"

James gave his girlfriend a brilliant smile filled with nearly too white teeth. "You can count on us to behave, my sweet Lily-flower."

Sirius could only grin and nod his head in apparent agreement, not that Lily believed them of course.

Releasing a resigned sigh she turned back to the seemingly endless rows of bins filled with vinyl. It would be unlikely to get in and out without the two causing a scene, so she endeavoured to be as quick as possible.

Glancing down at the newer releases, Lily started to leaf through a stack of records, hoping something would catch her eye. In her determination to find something suitable as soon as possible, Sirius and James took advantage of her momentary distraction to find some entertainment of their own.

"Oi, Prongs," a shout said from the other end of the shop. "Come check out the bird in this picture, she's practically starkers!"

Trust Sirius Black of all people to zero in on the scantily clad females, no matter what the situation is. Lily always thought it was funny. For him to have such skill in detecting near nude women, but was so obviously pining after his best mate. His best _male_ mate. Fate seemed to like throwing Sirius a curve ball.

"Oi, why isn't she moving. Don't the pictures move here, Prongs? Dead simple potion to make 'em move. I bet this saucy wench would be falling all over herself once she sees me!"

Wincing at the volume of his friend, James quickly made his way over before he caused an international incident. "Keep your bloody voice down," James urged. "You can't just go around spewing nonsense about moving pictures and potions in muggle London! Bloody hell, Padfoot. Have some sense!"

Rolling his eyes, Sirius just put the record back and continued his rampage through the dingy shop. James followed close behind. "Honestly Prongs," he began. "Evans has you whipped good, mate. All she has to do is bat her eyes and tell you to behave, and you can't roll over fast enough like the good boy you pretend to be."

Just barely containing his snarl James bit back, "I'm not the mutt in this scenario Black, and if you don't have the good sense to see why it's a bad idea to cause a scene in the middle of muggle London, then I can't help you." With that he crossed his arms, and turned his back to Sirius, obviously considering the conversation over and done with.

Not able to resist winding his best mate up, Sirius replied with what he knew would get his arse into gear. The trouble making gear that is. "What are you, chicken?"

The effect was instantaneous. Twirling around as if trying to apparate, James couldn't help the incredulous expression from exploding onto his face. "Am I _what?_

"You heard me, you're obviously just scared you'll get caught. Otherwise we wouldn't be having this discussion." With a satisfied nod, as if he double checked his logic and couldn't _possibly_ be wrong, Sirius offered James a grin. "You could always prove me wrong though."

Pausing to think for a moment, James weighed the two options out in his head. One on hand he could be a good boy, and maybe get a good snog for his efforts later that night. On the other hand, he could prove to his mate that he _definitely_ wasn't chicken (which is a very important thing not to be all things considered) and probably still get a good snog in later. Really, there wasn't that much of a choice to make.

"Fine. Here's what we're going to do."

* * *

It took ages, but Lily had finally found the perfect record for Remus. Satisfied with her selection, she looked up from the mountain of vinyl she was looking through only to see an empty store.

A growing sense of apprehension started to fester in her mid section. One thing she learned very quickly was that when James and Sirius are involved, silence is never a good thing.

She made her way over to the counter to pay, and as she was receiving her change, the subjects of her apprehension burst out of the (what she assumed to be) bathroom in the back of the shop. Instead of alleviating her unease, it only grew when she saw the expressions of poorly concealed mischief dance across their faces.

Spotting Lily, James schooled his expression into another brilliant smile, not all too different from the one he gave her earlier. She knew not to trust that smile. It was the same smile he gave when he did, or was about to do something she would disapprove of.

"Lily-flower, my darling, darling Lily-flower," James began. "All set then darling? I'm sure Remus will love what you picked out."

As if on cue, Sirius chose to cut in. "Oh absolutely, let's leave _as soon as possible_ so we can give it to him!"

Not falling for their tricks, Lily narrowed her gaze on the two of them. "Potter, Black. What did you two _do_?"

James at least had the good graces to grimace slightly, before quickly walking towards Lily and pointing her towards the exit. "Haven't a clue what you're talking about," he deflected. "Just excited to go home. Let's go home Lily. Let's go home right _now_."

Before she could argue, there was a muffled explosion that came from the direction of the bathroom.

Turning, she directed eyes wide with shock towards James and Sirius.

"No," she whispered. "You two didn't really-"

Before she could finish her question, the bathroom door burst open. A wall of water seemed to hang in the air for a moment, like opening a door that has been snowed in, before it quickly realized the lack of a door to stop it's path of destruction through the small record shop.

James and Sirius quickly grabbed an arm connected to either side of Lily, and all but shoved her out the door and onto the street, before quickly turning into the adjacent alley and apparating home.

Still in a state of shock, Lily was left holding Remus' gift while staring unbelievingly at her boyfriend and his best mate.

Said boyfriend and best mate couldn't hold in their laughter any longer, and both were letting out guffaws as if laughter was about to be outlawed, and they had to get their fill for the next sixty odd years now while they still could.

Finally calming down enough to direct his attention towards Lily, Sirius made a grab for the record in her hand.

"So what did you end up getting, Lily," he asked with a voice light from laughter. "I bet Remus really will love-"

But he couldn't finish his compliment due to the sudden attack of another peal of laughter. "She got… there's no way… too good!"

Unable to properly communicate why the record was so funny, he handed it off to James in the hopes that _he_ can explain the dramatic irony.

Taking the vinyl from Sirius, James gave the track list a once over, before breaking out into a grin as well. "Oh, Lily," he began fondly. "I can not believe that out of all the possible records to pick from, you ended picking this one. Only you, love."

Feeling more than a little hurt at his apparent disapproval of her gift selection, she snatched it back and snapped at him. "Well at least I didn't blow up a bloody toilet, Potter! If you hate what I chose so much, maybe you should have helped me look instead of breaking a dozen different laws at once!"

Paling slightly from his miscommunication, he was quick to clarify. "Oh no, you have it all wrong," he urged. "It's brilliant, absolutely brilliant. It's just, really really really funny. Werewolves of London, honestly!"

Confused as to why he found that particular track so funny, she turned her ire towards the still guffawing prat on the floor. "Do you have any idea what he's on about Black?"

After great effort to control his laughter, Sirius could only manage to get out a single breath before collapsing back into peals of giggles. "Moony, Evans. Moony!"

Sighing in exasperation, she tossed the record on a nearby table and stormed off, muttering to herself about never being able to take the two of them anywhere.


	4. The Secret Behind Bertie Botts Beans

"...ninety-nine, one hundred!" Hermione sat in the Gryffindor common room, at a table that was somewhat isolated from the rest of the room. Beside her sat her two best friends, Harry Potter, and Ron Weasley, her only friends in fact.

For reasons unknown to either of her two friends, she was meticulously counting out Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans and sorting them into piles of a hundred beans.

To say this confused her friends would be putting it mildly. To Ron, Bertie Botts Beans were only ever used for eating, and while Harry had only been in the wizarding world for a short time, he had the same idea as Ron when it came to the function of Bertie Botts Beans.

Slightly worried for his friend, Harry finally spoke up. "Hermione," he began cautiously, "what exactly are you doing with those beans again?" A simple enough question he thought, all things considered.

Huffing, Hermione answered without looking up from her counting. "I told you," she exasperatedly reminded him. "I'm trying to figure out once and for all if Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans are even worth buying, let alone consuming."

Harry and Ron shared a glance, not really understanding her answer. Out of concern for his best friend, Harry opened his mouth to hesitantly ask again. "But why? What have they ever done to you?"

Abandoning the pile of beans she had just finished counting, Hermione turned her full attention to the two boys. "Because," she started slowly. "I think they're vile candy. I think only the thickest of witches and wizards willingly subject themselves to the flavour roulette, and because I think the entire product is either one big joke, or a malicious attempt to get citizens to eat something that takes like dog droppings!" By the end of her little rant, she was breathing quite heavily, and Harry and Ron wisely decided to let her continue her counting in peace.

After a few minutes, Ron elected to try again. "So what are you doing? What's the point of the counting and the sorting?"

Again without looking up, she responds. "I'm sorting the beans into random piles of one hundred. If I can prove through various tests that the majority of beans in any given random pile of one hundred are undesirable flavours, then I can definitively say that there is an expectation for any random bean to be an undesirable flavour, and therefore a complete waste. I could then go on to relate the price of a box of beans to the number of desirable beans to get the true price of a box. Bad flavours would count against the price, artificially inflating the cost per desirable bean even though you spit the disgusting flavors out most of the time."

Glancing up, she pinned the two of them with a stare that brokered no compromises. "You two will be helping me consume the beans. You'll eat a single bean each, and I'll record if it was a desirable, or undesirable flavour. Rinse, repeat."

Instead of the looks of apprehension that Hermione expected from the two (I mean honestly, who would want to eat those horrible flavours!) Harry and Ron shared twin looks of delight. They certainly didn't expect to be able to eat the candies littered across the table.

Grabbing a bean a piece, the two quickly popped them into their mouths, savouring the (hopefully) tangy deliciousness of a desirable flavour.

Instead, they instantly spit out their candy, and simultaneously looked to Hermione and said, "undesirable". The disgusting flavours didn't seem to dampen their spirits however. The two were just as giddy, if not more so than before they began.

This pattern continued for quite some time. The two boys would try a flavour, Hermione would record the results, and then the boys would try another flavour. It wasn't difficult, and the anticipation of eating another bean was too much fun for the boys.

After an exhaustive series of tests on hundreds of beans, Hermione finally brought the experiment to a close.

Thirteen hundred beans were consumed by Harry and Ron, and they looked to be filled to bursting. But if the matching looks of satisfaction on their faces were any indication, they definitely didn't mind.

Hermione, however, was not so amused. After verifying that her data was indeed correct, she was brought to the stunning conclusion of the study.

Out of the thirteen hundred beans consumed, only a quarter was desirable.

To say she was shocked wouldn't be putting her emotions to justice. It was shocking to finally know the percentage of good beans to bad, but that wasn't what had her so befuddled.

She didn't care.

She had started this little experiment to prove once and for all that Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans were a disgusting product that only the dullest of witches or wizards would buy.

But over the course of her little test, she realized the true value of the beans.

It didn't matter what the flavour was, or what the flavour before it was. What mattered was having someone to eat them with you.

That was probably the most shocking revelation of the night. She had expected for her experiment to be dry and boring. She certainly didn't expect to have so much fun with it. The expressions on the faces of her two friends when they spit out a rancid flavour, or when they savoured a brilliant one made her smile and laugh every time.

It wasn't the candy that was the product, it was the fun that came along with it.

Putting down her quill, Hermione looked up to her two friends, the pair still grinning dumbly and she couldn't help but smile fondly back.

"So what's the verdict, Hermione?" Harry asked. "Is Bertie Botts as bad as you say?"

Hermione took the piece of parchment that contained her data, folded it up, and put it securely in her pocket.

"The results were inconclusive," she said dismissively, trying to hide the fact that she no longer held any animosity towards the candy.

Harry and Ron looked suitably disappointed, feeling bad that Hermione's experiment didn't work out.

"Well, that's no good," said Ron bracingly. "We'll just have to try again tomorrow won't we?"

Hermione felt a genuine smile blossom on her face. "I'd like that," she said. "I'd like that very much."


End file.
